Many moms are drawn to taking pictures of their kids sleeping. I’m one of them. I also have countless pictures of my kids reading books. Seeing them lost in a good book gives me that same heart-could-burst feeling you get when watching their sweet faces during a peaceful slumber. I have photos of them hiding out in secret reading nooks around the house, leaving the library with stacks of books almost bigger than their exuberant little bodies, and my favorite: huddled around a book together. I’ve got a few teenagers now, and they still have to deal with me often pulling out the camera when I find them cozied up on the couch reading on a Sunday afternoon. An emphatic “Mom!” is their typical response.

In a demanding world that seems to constantly change, it’s easy to fall short or feel overwhelmed as nurturers, protectors and teachers in our homes, so it’s nice to have a few things you can confidently feel you’re doing right for your kids. And for me, reading aloud to them everyday is one of those things, in large part because it requires little more from me than to sit down and simply be with them. We have fallen on and off many other good wagons, but we’ve stayed on the read-aloud train, bumps, turns and all.

It’s something we’ve done nightly since our kids were babies. We’ve naturally bonded over books as a family, much thanks to my husband, Will, who hardly ever misses a night and will read to them way past their bedtime. (See, we’re constantly falling off of the early-to-bed-early-to-rise wagon.) We take turns putting the girls and boys to bed, since our girls have always shared a bedroom as have our boys. It’s something they all look forward to and it’s a way to end the day on a good note. And by “put to bed” (our kids are 7, 11, 13 and 15), we mean read them a book! Right now I’m reading Little Women to the girls (again) while Will reads Anne of Green Gables on his nights with them. And he’s reading Dragon Watch to the boys while I’m in the middle of The Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson with the boys. It’s good for their brains to be in the middle of lots of books, and to have a pause between books.

Something I especially love about this tradition is that it exposes the younger ones to books above their reading level and gives the older kids a chance to enjoy books from their childhood without feeling self-conscious about listening to a “little kid book” or still having a bedtime story. When we finish a book, we let them pick out the next one, and if our kids want different books from each other, we read from both, again exposing them to books that the other sibling chose. I think it’s valuable for them to listen to something they wouldn’t necessarily have picked for themselves, and the kids really bond over these stories (and watching their mom cry at some point or another in so many of them).

We also happen to be a homeschooling family, which some days feels disastrous, but without fail, reading aloud to our kids is the magical reset button we often need, and it’s one of the few things I confidently feel like we’re doing right both as homeschoolers and as parents. It’s nice to have something we can all universally do right for our kids. I sincerely feel that if kids came with an individual instruction manual, reading aloud to them would be in every single one.

PS. If you’re looking for a book to read to your kids, I’d highly recommend Read Aloud Revival and The Good and the Beautiful book lists. And remember, whether your kids are five or fifteen, they’re never too old to be read to. I think you’ll find that the more you read to them, the more often your heart will be aflutter watching your kids become avid readers themselves.

I have utterly enjoyed being in a writing group with Marie since 2008. We have swapped stories, essays, memories, poetry, writing prompts, and dreams. I have glimpsed her mind and heart through her written words, and they are as beautiful and pure as can be. She has a way of capturing moments with her family (both in writing and photography) that take your breath away. She is using her many talents on her blog, stylememarie.com. Prepare to be inspired!

tawnyember

I am grateful for the opportunity to talk about the importance of reading and the benefits that it can provide in improving mental health. I am a licensed mental health counselor and have been working with children and families since 2010. 

First of all, I would like to share the legacy of reading that my mother provided for me. She was a voracious reader and shared her love of books with me. I can remember her reading to me wonderful classics such as Little Women, Ferdinand the Bull, the Little House on the Prairie series, Trumpet of the Swan, and many others. As a child, reading was my mother’s window to the world outside of her life on the farm. She was the first one in her family to go on to college and get a degree. My mom set an example of lifelong learning.

I’ve been looking at the research on how reading improves mental health, and it confirms what I have already come to know in my practice in working with children. I often use books and stories in therapy. I discovered that if I can find a story that is similar to what the child is experiencing, or a social skill they need to learn, they more easily can take in the information for learning and application. Rather than talking directly to the problem behavior, it allows the child to feel safe enough to explore other possibilities. As the adult, we can talk with the child about what they are reading and help them make connections through their own struggles. This allows them to expand their understanding beyond their own perceptions, explore other options, and find hope that they can experience different outcomes.

It doesn’t seem to matter whether the character is real or fictional; there are several beneficial outcomes from reading stories with children. Reading has shown to increase empathy, social skills, and interpersonal understanding (Whitely, 2019). The child can see that others have common struggles, which increases their understanding of how to work through their personal problems. It also assists the reader in overcoming challenges by improving their problem-solving skills and providing greater perspective. It helps them put words to the emotions going on inside and see feelings as information for solving their problem. 

There are other benefits, as well. Reading stories can reduce stress, as it allows for a moment of escape. Reading also enhances cognitive functioning by building new neurological connections. In addition, “researchers theorize that reading allows us to mimic actual experience in our minds, providing us with the benefits of a character’s emotional growth and ability to overcome challenges without having to go through the experience ourselves”  (Renewal Lodge, 2019).

Keep reading and talking with your children about what they are reading. Help them bring meaning to what they are experiencing. Help them explore the world through stories. As they do, they will be able to see the world expand before them with increased understanding. 

Happy reading!

Citations:

Renewal Lodge Mental Health. (2019, September, 19). 5 Ways Reading Improves Mental Health.  Http//: renewallodge.com

Whitley, Rob. (2019, May, 24). Can Reading Books Improve Your Mental Health? Http//: Phychologytoday.com

Denise not only works as a full-time therapist, but also is a regional ecclesiastical leader, and actively keeps up with her adult kids and grandkids. I worked up the courage to ask her if she would be willing to share with us her professional opinion and experience on reading with children, half expecting her to say she was too busy. Denise was incredibly gracious and said she could work on it during her vacation. I am so very grateful she took the time to put this important message together for our benefit!

tawny ember

I was blessed with parents who absolutely love to read and are passionate about education. Amidst all the demands of raising their eight kids, they found time to read The Wall Street Journal, the local news, the classics, the scriptures, and self-help books. On Sundays, my mom would make pudding and brownies or cookies, and then we would snuggle up with her, and she would read the Little House on the Prairie books to us while we enjoyed the treats. I also remember laughing with my dad as he read Summer of the Monkeys to us kids. He introduced me to J.R.R. Tolkien, and to this day, The Hobbit is still one of my favorite books. I read this book in sixth grade, and I still see Bilbo Baggins riding down the river on top of the wine barrels into which he had stuffed the dwarves. 

Even though I don’t consider myself an avid reader like my parents, I naturally wanted to pass the love of books on to my kids. My husband and I were not blessed with children right away as we had hoped. So, by the time our son came along five years later, I was raring to go and ready to invest everything I had into this little bundle of joy. I read lots and lots of books to him when he was a baby and small child. My husband and I have sweet memories of our son sitting on our laps and turning the pages to Richard Scarry’s illustrated book, I am a Bunny. At age two, he could recite the entire book word for word. “I am a bunny. My name is Nicholas. I live in a hollow tree. . . . I chase the butterflies and the butterflies chase me. . . . When it rains, I keep dry under a toadstool. . . .” It was the cutest thing ever! 

We are currently on the exciting journey of helping our daughter, who is in second grade, to become an independent reader. At the beginning of the year, she tested a little below grade level for her reading. I was in denial at first and then felt guilty as to why I hadn’t been doing more. Life had gotten a lot busier after she came along, and I am afraid that she did not get the same one-on-one reading attention that our son received. I humbled myself and accepted all the help that my daughter’s school had to offer. Her  teacher and the reading specialist have been awesome. I also dove into phonics with her and have fallen in love with the science behind word formation. Breaking the words down into letters, understanding different letter combinations, and learning what sounds they can create has been really helpful for our daughter. 

 I also try to find books that match my kids’ interests. Our daughter is a huge dog lover, so I am always on the lookout for animal books. In first or second grade, our son was introduced to the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. Even though Greg Heffley, the main character, is an annoying whiner in these books, I have him to thank for getting my son interested in reading and helping him become an independent reader. 

One more thing I want to mention that has been helpful in getting my kids to read is doing the “Mom Store.” I learned this idea from Ralphie Jacobs, as well. On her Instagram account, she teaches parents how to implement positive parenting in their families. She has tremendously blessed my family with her little tidbits of wisdom on her Instagram account. Please go follow her!! 

Getting back to the “Mom Store,” fill a big Tupperware container full of fun and yummy snacks, and use these to entice your kids to participate in a family summer reading program. The only time that kids are allowed to have these special snacks is during a one-hour reading-time period that you schedule every day. Ralphie has a ticket system where children read so many pages to earn tickets to redeem for snacks. Parents decide how many pages kids must read for each ticket. Children can then exchange these tickets for a special snack to eat during their reading time. 

The whole idea behind this is that reading has intrinsic value; however, emerging and inexperienced readers don’t know this yet. Pair a good book (at your child’s reading level) with an enticing snack, and you have just led a horse to water, and he or she should drink. The hope is that these books will take them on adventures, make them laugh out loud, teach them something new, help them view the world through someone else’s eyes, and develop their love of reading. The “Mom Store” has been a great resource for me as I have tried to nurture my children’s love for reading.

Karen and I met one another at church about 14 years ago. We had an instant connection, having both experienced the heartache of infertility, and I have admired her ever since. Our families began to grow around the same time and we participated in a preschool co-op with our sons. She has been a tremendous example of strength, faith, and endurance in my life. Karen, thank you for your dear friendship and for sharing these thoughts about reading!    

tawnyember